She

She's given me more than I deserve and more than I ever thought I could have.

She never runs away from me even when I want to run away from myself.

She makes me believe that I can be so much better than what I am.

She makes all the agony of the past dissiapte until it ceases to exist.

She is the healing when I am in pain, and she is my tomorrow when I don't think I can make it through the day.

She gives me the faith that I don't have to be trapped by what came before; that I can be something other than the things in my past.

She is the hope I have for change and she's the only chance I'll take.

She makes me smile more than I ever thought I could, and happier than I believed I could be.

She fills the silence with light and the darkness with music.

She makes me believe in me.

She makes me feel serene and calm inside, even when everything seems to be chaos and sadness.

She softens the edges of walls I've spent so many years building, so I can finally start to break them down if I should choose to.

She pulls me back to earth again when I'm on the brink of losing it completely.

She is more than I would ever have dared to ask for, and more than I could ever hope to deserve.

I hope she knows that no matter where she goes and who or what she does, she can always come home to me and I'll hold her (I just ask that she shower first).

I hope she understands that I don't expect or want anything from her other than her love. I never will. Being allowed to be with her at all is more than I could ever have asked for.

I hope she knows that I love her more than I could ever find the words to express.

She has made me so much better for the time she's spent with me, and I don't know how to thank her for that.

I bless the day I met her, and I thank whatever gods there may or may not be for letting me know her.

She is the best thing in my life and she has made this life worth living.

Okay. I've been studying politics for a very long time now, close to the majority of my life, and I'm more than a little jaded. Honestly, I despise many of the things done by my government to the rest of the world, and to the citizens of its own country. (banning gay marriages anyone? Fuck Cali). I've been under the impression that it's a government of the rich, creating laws benefitting the other rich. And I think that to a large extent, I'm still correct about that. (Obama's campaign spent over $150 MILLION lol).

Still, for once in my memory, things worked. No matter how you might feel about Obama, this is historical. Watching black people crying over it on TVtoday, I was reminded of the video footage I watched of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's "I Have a Dream" speech decades ago (they've been showing it on TV, I know, but at the time I didn't have any idea. lol). I wasn't alive during the bad parts of the civil rights movement (obviously), but I'm well aware of the bigoted attitudes many people still possess. Even in my hometown, there are many racists, my family included. So seeing him win by such a majority really made me happy.

Obviously things aren't perfect. While liberal, President Obama does not support gay rights. That makes me sad, but again, I'm reminded of the civil rights movement and how closely related it is to the gay rights movement. Yesterday in California, a law was passed called Proposition 8. This piece of legislation effectively writes discrimination into the California Constitution by banning and outlawing gay marriages. California is probably the most liberal state in the Union, and it makes me very, very sad.

Still, in my heart of hearts I know that any movement takes time to see significant change. The gay rights movement is still in its infancy in America, and while I don't want to spend my life suffering, I realize it'll take time. That's why i don't want to live in my country anymore; I'm tired of being considered less than a citizen.

Black people have put up with that for more than two centuries, and I don't want to take anything away from how amazing Obama's election is. It makes me proud to be an American for one of the first times in my life. I know things can't change overnight, but Obama gives me hope that they CAN change eventually. That's what I want, and he makes me believe it because I'm dead certain he believes it himself. His acceptance speech proved that; the man looked like he was going to cry when he said "out of many, we can be one." He believes in what America can be, and I think he's the perfect man to lead it.

With all the shit my country throws around on a daily basis, it can still surprise me with the good it can do every now and then.