Recently, one of my upper, more frontal teeth has started to hurt like hell. This is most likely because I have always had problems with my teeth (being born prematurely apparently does not do wonders for jaw development, and also my father is a hillbilly with a busted grill...teef genetics are not on my side) as well as the fact that I am rather poor and thus have not seen a dentist in a decade.
Anyway, this particular tooth has been separating from the gum for years. It's never hurt until about three weeks ago, so I figured it could wait. I always intended to fix it, but as I said, my ass is po' and therefore it wasn't a priority.
The tooth eventually grew tired of my neglect and decided to rebel. Not that I blame it. Honestly I'm surprised it didn't want to hurt me sooner. I was in agony for several days until biting the bullet (figuratively of course, because holy crap ow) and going to visit the dentist I had as a child. She was kind enough to look, although she and her secretary wouldn't shut up about my insurance and money and so on. But she seemed placated when I told her that my family would be helping out, and led me to the chair.
Now, I am a huge wuss when it comes to doctors of any sort, and dentists especially. This is slightly stupid since I have quite a high pain tolerance, and have never really had any issues at the dentist or doctor that I couldn't handle. There have been a lot, too. I've had teeth pulled, metal spacers both put in and taken out, my jaw widened, braces, the whole shebang. But these things didn't really hurt that much, at least not that I recall, and I have no legitimate reason to fear the dentist. But oh Lordy, do I. And after my last appointment, I feel my fears are finally grounded in reality.
There was the usual checkup and poking around with a lovely metal spike, which is always a such a relaxing experience. Also, why do dentists ALWAYS try to have a conversation when they have their hand and various sharp metal things in your mouth? I mean, I'm dumb, but even I know better. These people have actual real-world smart people degrees. Come on, dentists. Anyway, all was relatively well, and after x-rays were taken it was decided that I need a root canal on my poor misbehaving tooth.
(As an aside, this doesn't bother me. Root canals are supposedly horrendous, everything I've read and everyone I've spoken to that's had one says they're no worse than any other filling, so meh. Of course I'll scream like a banshee on here and in the office if it's bad, but I'm not going in expecting hellfire and torture. And I probably just jinxed myself, but whatevs).
The only bad part about the little checkup came when the dentist, who is a very kind and gentle lady in her daily life, pulled out a strange little tool that looked like a disturbing cross between a clit stimulator and a can opener and said she wanted to perform a test to see if the nerve inside the tooth was still functioning. With some trepidation, I reluctantly agreed, thinking that with everything I've been subjected to before this couldn't possibly be worse.
Oh how wrong I was. She leaned the chair back, affixed the little tool to my poor tooth and had me hold onto the handle of the tool loosely. She told me that when I felt anything, I should immediately let go of the tool and it would stop the sensation. Seemed easy enough, so I readied myself for a slight jolt.
For the first few seconds, I felt nothing. Then what I thought was cold, which gave way rapidly to the most intense pain I have ever felt in my entire freaking life, concentrated into my one poor, poor little tooth. I screamed like an absolute girl, and instead of letting go of the stupid clit stimulator of death I tightened my grip, which only made things worse. Perhaps I should have mentioned to my lovely sadistic dentist that when one experiences pain, muscles tend to tense up, not loosen. Thankfully, my cry of agony must have conveyed my pain, because she stopped. I sat in shock for a few seconds, then tried to leave, thinking the appointment was over.
Nope! She wanted to test the tooth on the other side in the same way. I have no idea why I agreed, but I did, with less than desireable results for the both of us. But she should have known better, so I'm really not sorry that I kinda kicked her in the crotchal region.
Her husband is performing my root canal surgery in a couple weeks. I can only pray that she didn't tell him to get vengeance. I'm sure her junk hurt for awhile, since I was wearing my steel-toed work shoes. Still, serves her right.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Sleeps!
I has them. Over 14 hours of them, for some unexplained reason. I suppose when one has no job or other responsibilities in life, one can sleep as much as they damn well please. But I was quite happy with this development anyway.
Normally, I don't stay up too late. I've always been rather nocturnal, and have stayed up most of the night as long as I can remember. Even in Sweden it wasn't unusual for me to be awake at 4am and asleep at noon the following day. I had nothing to get up for, so why not?
Since being back in the States, though, I've been going to bed pretty early. For me anyway. My 3-week temp job that started at 6:30am may have had a lot to do with it, but I think the fact that I talk to two beautiful Swedes all the damn time and they're 7 hours ahead of me is a bigger part. Anyway, I've been very good lately and haven't slept past noon in months, which is kind of a huge thing for me since I'm a total bum.
I don't know what happened today. I went to bed around midnight after reading a few chapters in an awesome library book, and slept fairly well. A few nightmares but nothing serious. I woke up and looked at my clock at about 10am, figured I had nothing pressing to get up for, and decided to snooze for a bit more.
The next time I awoke, it was 3:13pm. That's right folks, I slept all freaking day, and now feel like the unemplyed, lazy vagrant my family so steadfastly insists on reminding me I am. But damn it all, it feels really freaking nice. The sleep, not the whole being unemployed thing, although that's not even bad since I'm still getting paychecks. That'll stop soon and I'll feel horrible about myself again, but for right now? Fuck it all.
I'm gonna order me a pizza and watch a movie.
Laziness ahoy! Potential employers...well, if you're reading this for whatever reason, I don't even know. Hell, I'm only applying to places like KFC anyway so I don't think this'll really hurt my chances.
Normally, I don't stay up too late. I've always been rather nocturnal, and have stayed up most of the night as long as I can remember. Even in Sweden it wasn't unusual for me to be awake at 4am and asleep at noon the following day. I had nothing to get up for, so why not?
Since being back in the States, though, I've been going to bed pretty early. For me anyway. My 3-week temp job that started at 6:30am may have had a lot to do with it, but I think the fact that I talk to two beautiful Swedes all the damn time and they're 7 hours ahead of me is a bigger part. Anyway, I've been very good lately and haven't slept past noon in months, which is kind of a huge thing for me since I'm a total bum.
I don't know what happened today. I went to bed around midnight after reading a few chapters in an awesome library book, and slept fairly well. A few nightmares but nothing serious. I woke up and looked at my clock at about 10am, figured I had nothing pressing to get up for, and decided to snooze for a bit more.
The next time I awoke, it was 3:13pm. That's right folks, I slept all freaking day, and now feel like the unemplyed, lazy vagrant my family so steadfastly insists on reminding me I am. But damn it all, it feels really freaking nice. The sleep, not the whole being unemployed thing, although that's not even bad since I'm still getting paychecks. That'll stop soon and I'll feel horrible about myself again, but for right now? Fuck it all.
I'm gonna order me a pizza and watch a movie.
Laziness ahoy! Potential employers...well, if you're reading this for whatever reason, I don't even know. Hell, I'm only applying to places like KFC anyway so I don't think this'll really hurt my chances.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Adulthood = fail
Remember how when you were a kid, and being an adult seemed completely awesome? You thought you'd have the freedom to stay up until 2am ordering pizza for delivery and watching cartoons on the couch in your undies. You might have considered answering the door in your underwears, but you could also have thrown on the amazing fluffy 80282721271 thread count bathrobe of softness in dark green with gold trim that you thought all adults owned. (Yes, I had extremely strange ideals for my life even then).
Anyway, yeah, that didn't really pan out the way I'd been expecting it to. Mostly because I'm way too socially awkward to be comfortable dealing with delivery people at any time of day or night. Also, the pizzerias in this town stop delivering at 11pm, so the whole fantasy went kaput. Also, you need money to order pizza, and money is something that I lack due to a combination of a worthless degree, temp jobs that last 3 weeks at most and the lack of any real ambition to find another job. I basically feel like nirvana is sitting around (again in my underwears) at my computer all day, sometimes heating up food and drinking diet energy drinks all day. And walking a mile a day so as not to feel completely slothlike, which really doesn't work all that well, but at least it's something.
In short, I am extremely immature. I am 28 years old, and my life is basically that of a child, aside from the fact that I live alone and have a college degree...which is useless, but dammit, it's an accomplishment. Anyway, because of this, very small adult tasks make me feel as if I've managed to climb Mt. Everest or something. Of course the small things I end up doing are really tiny and regular people with jobs and enriching lives wouldn't give a second through to, but for me, they're epic achievements.
Take today, for example. I've been needing to go to the public library for the past several days in order to print out some forms for a student loan deferment. This has terrified me to such an extreme that I've been pretty much unable to leave the house at all. I do have social anxiety so I know I shouldn't feel too bad about this, but I do. It feels like failing when it happens constantly.
So, to make myself feel a bit better and to reassure myself that I'm an adult capable of performing adult tasks, I went to the Walgreen's across the street from my house and bought some groceries and cleaning supplies. On the way out, I saw that there was a $5 sale on 12 packs of Cottonelle toilet paper. Now, as recently stated, I'm poor. Like, I'd be destitute if I wasn't living in the upper half of my granny's duplex, so for me $5 is a substantial amount. But, when I thought about it, I realized that toilet paper is a very wise purchase since I'll end up using it anyway, and $5 for a 12 pack is pretty damn cheap, especially for a name brand. So, I bought a pack, along with a book of stamps, and felt like a responsible adult.
I'm now riding on the high of that accomplishment, and will be for the rest of the day. And that makes me somewhat sad, because I mean...if finding toilet paper on sale is a big event in someone's life, that's just depressing. Then again, my adulthood isn't living up to my expectations anyway, hence the desire to move to New York. Not that life is going to be automatically more awesome there, but I'm fairly certain I can purchase brand-name TP cheaply.
Anyway, yeah, that didn't really pan out the way I'd been expecting it to. Mostly because I'm way too socially awkward to be comfortable dealing with delivery people at any time of day or night. Also, the pizzerias in this town stop delivering at 11pm, so the whole fantasy went kaput. Also, you need money to order pizza, and money is something that I lack due to a combination of a worthless degree, temp jobs that last 3 weeks at most and the lack of any real ambition to find another job. I basically feel like nirvana is sitting around (again in my underwears) at my computer all day, sometimes heating up food and drinking diet energy drinks all day. And walking a mile a day so as not to feel completely slothlike, which really doesn't work all that well, but at least it's something.
In short, I am extremely immature. I am 28 years old, and my life is basically that of a child, aside from the fact that I live alone and have a college degree...which is useless, but dammit, it's an accomplishment. Anyway, because of this, very small adult tasks make me feel as if I've managed to climb Mt. Everest or something. Of course the small things I end up doing are really tiny and regular people with jobs and enriching lives wouldn't give a second through to, but for me, they're epic achievements.
Take today, for example. I've been needing to go to the public library for the past several days in order to print out some forms for a student loan deferment. This has terrified me to such an extreme that I've been pretty much unable to leave the house at all. I do have social anxiety so I know I shouldn't feel too bad about this, but I do. It feels like failing when it happens constantly.
So, to make myself feel a bit better and to reassure myself that I'm an adult capable of performing adult tasks, I went to the Walgreen's across the street from my house and bought some groceries and cleaning supplies. On the way out, I saw that there was a $5 sale on 12 packs of Cottonelle toilet paper. Now, as recently stated, I'm poor. Like, I'd be destitute if I wasn't living in the upper half of my granny's duplex, so for me $5 is a substantial amount. But, when I thought about it, I realized that toilet paper is a very wise purchase since I'll end up using it anyway, and $5 for a 12 pack is pretty damn cheap, especially for a name brand. So, I bought a pack, along with a book of stamps, and felt like a responsible adult.
I'm now riding on the high of that accomplishment, and will be for the rest of the day. And that makes me somewhat sad, because I mean...if finding toilet paper on sale is a big event in someone's life, that's just depressing. Then again, my adulthood isn't living up to my expectations anyway, hence the desire to move to New York. Not that life is going to be automatically more awesome there, but I'm fairly certain I can purchase brand-name TP cheaply.
Monday, September 27, 2010
randomness
So, I was laid off from the temp job on the Army base. Which is fine, I knew it was a temp job going in, but I'm kinda peeved that it didn't last much longer than 3 weeks because I've found that while I'm definitely not too concerned about money, I do have rather expensive tastes for a poor person.
Well, not really. For most people, anyway. But it's like...I've lived on the street, and I get pissy because I can't afford ingredients to make myself this really awesome Greek pasta thingy in my electric skillet. Haha, I guess that's not exactly the high life, but still. All I actually need to pay for is my rent, which is a steal since my great-granny's my landlord, and my internet/electricity/food. So it's not as if I need a huge sum of money coming in every month, but I'd really like one anyway.
I've made the decision to apply for a master's degree program in New York City at their City College. It's a Working Adults degree in the Study of the Americas, which is basically what I did in undergrad. Very liberal arts based, but it's something. To be completely honest, I feel suffocated by my hometown and I want to live in New York, and the degree feels like the most sensible/financially feasible way to do that. I still intend to go to school in Sweden, but I feel like staying here until next September will kill me.
Obviously it won't. At least, I hope not. But with my luck I'd probably get hit by a bus on the way to work my crappy job (should it ever get more project stuff so it can hire me back). I just feel like, since coming back here, all the "adults" I encounter aren't all that awesome, and it makes me really sad. A lot of the people I worked with for these few short weeks were super depressing. That's nothing against them, since I know they're doing the best they can. But my God, that isn't any kind of life I want. Getting stuck here would kill me, so if I can get into school in an awesome city for 6 months, that'd rule.
I wish I was funny enough to blog for a living, really. Sadly, all I seem to do in my blogs is whine a lot, I'm rarely if ever amusing. Which I feel is a huge injustice to my character. I must seem like a really mopey depressed person, but I'm really not. I get that way sometimes, as everyone does, but for the most part, life amuses the shit out of me and I can always find things to laugh at. I think I need to work on projecting positivity into my life, rather than just laughing to myself so much. What's happiness if you can't share it? Oh hell, there I go attempting to be profound. Such literary egotism from someone whose typing is worse than her 11 year old cousin's.
Anyway, I'm really gonna try to start acting happier. Hopefully it'll bleed over into feeling happier.
I'm also considering a travel blog. I figure I've been to/lived in several places around the world, and I have some awesome stories that I don't want to get lost in all my other whiny woe is me blog posts. Both have their purpose but I feel a travel blog would be nice. Especially when I get to NYC.
I miss my Swedes and Sweden itself terribly and can't wait to go back!
Well, not really. For most people, anyway. But it's like...I've lived on the street, and I get pissy because I can't afford ingredients to make myself this really awesome Greek pasta thingy in my electric skillet. Haha, I guess that's not exactly the high life, but still. All I actually need to pay for is my rent, which is a steal since my great-granny's my landlord, and my internet/electricity/food. So it's not as if I need a huge sum of money coming in every month, but I'd really like one anyway.
I've made the decision to apply for a master's degree program in New York City at their City College. It's a Working Adults degree in the Study of the Americas, which is basically what I did in undergrad. Very liberal arts based, but it's something. To be completely honest, I feel suffocated by my hometown and I want to live in New York, and the degree feels like the most sensible/financially feasible way to do that. I still intend to go to school in Sweden, but I feel like staying here until next September will kill me.
Obviously it won't. At least, I hope not. But with my luck I'd probably get hit by a bus on the way to work my crappy job (should it ever get more project stuff so it can hire me back). I just feel like, since coming back here, all the "adults" I encounter aren't all that awesome, and it makes me really sad. A lot of the people I worked with for these few short weeks were super depressing. That's nothing against them, since I know they're doing the best they can. But my God, that isn't any kind of life I want. Getting stuck here would kill me, so if I can get into school in an awesome city for 6 months, that'd rule.
I wish I was funny enough to blog for a living, really. Sadly, all I seem to do in my blogs is whine a lot, I'm rarely if ever amusing. Which I feel is a huge injustice to my character. I must seem like a really mopey depressed person, but I'm really not. I get that way sometimes, as everyone does, but for the most part, life amuses the shit out of me and I can always find things to laugh at. I think I need to work on projecting positivity into my life, rather than just laughing to myself so much. What's happiness if you can't share it? Oh hell, there I go attempting to be profound. Such literary egotism from someone whose typing is worse than her 11 year old cousin's.
Anyway, I'm really gonna try to start acting happier. Hopefully it'll bleed over into feeling happier.
I'm also considering a travel blog. I figure I've been to/lived in several places around the world, and I have some awesome stories that I don't want to get lost in all my other whiny woe is me blog posts. Both have their purpose but I feel a travel blog would be nice. Especially when I get to NYC.
I miss my Swedes and Sweden itself terribly and can't wait to go back!
Monday, September 6, 2010
Dear Ma
I didn't write on your birthday, nor the day after, and I didn't make it out to see you until the 3rd this year. I apologize for that, but there was some social anxiety stuffs going on with me at the doctor's on Thursday. Nothing big, but I take after you in that I've always hated doctors' offices or any real medical facility. Big shock, I know! :P
Anyway, I know I babbled at you for a couple of hours on Friday, but I forgot to tell you that I love you. Kinda weird since I constantly tell people that, but for some reason I forgot, and I'm sorry. I hope you know it anyway.
Every day I was in Sweden, I wanted to call you and tell you about it. Same as I did in Scotland and when I visited London and Blackpool before that. I wanted to call you from the airport in New York to tell you I could see taxis outside. I...don't even really know what to say. I just want you to know that sometimes I miss you so much it hurts to breathe.
I'm okay, it's just really easy not to think about it most of the time. Then September rolls around and all I can see is that horribly ugly green carpet and all of it just comes flooding back.
I love you, Mom. I always have and I always will, and I'm sorry I couldn't take better care of you when you were here. I wish you still were. I miss my best friend.
You were incredible and I'm so lucky to have known you in the limited time and capacity that I did. I hope you don't despise me completely. I'm not great, but I try every day to be a better person so you can be proud of me.
Eskimo!
H
Anyway, I know I babbled at you for a couple of hours on Friday, but I forgot to tell you that I love you. Kinda weird since I constantly tell people that, but for some reason I forgot, and I'm sorry. I hope you know it anyway.
Every day I was in Sweden, I wanted to call you and tell you about it. Same as I did in Scotland and when I visited London and Blackpool before that. I wanted to call you from the airport in New York to tell you I could see taxis outside. I...don't even really know what to say. I just want you to know that sometimes I miss you so much it hurts to breathe.
I'm okay, it's just really easy not to think about it most of the time. Then September rolls around and all I can see is that horribly ugly green carpet and all of it just comes flooding back.
I love you, Mom. I always have and I always will, and I'm sorry I couldn't take better care of you when you were here. I wish you still were. I miss my best friend.
You were incredible and I'm so lucky to have known you in the limited time and capacity that I did. I hope you don't despise me completely. I'm not great, but I try every day to be a better person so you can be proud of me.
Eskimo!
H
Thursday, August 19, 2010
survey thingy
last book you read? The Soul Thief by Charles Baxter. Pretty good, loved the writing style. Story was a bit philosophical for me but entertaining.
have you ever ridden a horse? aye, but it's been probably 20 years or so since then. I'm old.
what color underwear are you wearing right now? beige ish
did you / do you go to college? Yes, and I even have a completely worthless degree to prove that I wasted 8 years of my life doing so!
*what did/do you study? Everything. My degree is in Liberal Arts, so yeah. Focused on journalism, history, English, speech pathology/audiology, and anthropology at different times.
have you ever been to a play or musical with a cast NOT consisting of gradeschool/highschool students (i.e: a professional theater troupe)? yes. I'm not really a theater person for the most part, and am somewhat anti-musical after a life spent with choir members who thought they'd be Broadway's next big thing, but I did see and enjoy a local production of Miss Saigon a year or two ago.
what are the lightest and heaviest weights you've been in your adult life? 195 (D:) now and about 72 after my burns.
what is your favorite breed of dog? I love all dogs, complete dog person. I tend to favor mutts, but as far as breeds go I'm fond of any kind of Shepherd (German Shepherds mainly) and I adore chow chows and labs and Pomeranians and pugs and bulldogs and and and and...
have you ever been in the news, tv or print, for anything? nothing big, won a few spelling bees in my younger days and my name was listed when I graduated uni.
which, if any, charities to you contribute to? none at the moment since I'm unemployed, but I always have contributions for United Way, Shriner's, St. Judes and the ASPCA deducted when I'm working. I also try to contribute to food drives and animal shelters when I can, although it's been years.
what is the size of your mattress? hmmm...small double? Large single? Not sure, it's a pull out sleeper sofa so not a regular mattress. It's bigger than the twin bed I never sleep in, though.
how many different pairs of shoes do you own? hmmm, maybe....5 or 6? a couple pairs of nice/work shoes, a pair of basic black shoes and a few pairs of sneakers.
last movie you saw, either in the theater or on DVD? Inception, with my grandparents. I think I was expecting too much, didn't really blow me away.
what television station do you spend the most time watching? hmmm, I watch all my TV on my computer so I have no idea. Most likely Fox or HBO.
do you use Facebook? yes.
*why do/don't you? why not? I also have Swedes and Scots and Ozzies and Saffas and Californians to keep track of. lol
what are your thoughts on abortion? I've had one. Not by choice, but I still technically have. I feel that the woman should have the choice, but that choice should be limited to issues concerning health of mother and/or child and other extenuating circumstances. Should not be a repeated method of birth control by any means.
how many of your grandparents are still living? all, as far as I am aware. Haven't spoken to my father's parents in years but I'd hope I'd have been contacted if one had passed.
have you ever ridden on public transit (taxi cabs not included)? yes, i don't drive
have you seen both the atlantic and pacific oceans in person (from a plane at 30k ft doesnt count)? sadly, no. Just the Atlantic so far, and I consider myself lucky for that. I'm from a state with 1,000 miles or more of land on all sides.
what kind of mobile phone do you have? a very basic Samsung flip phone that has texting and internet access disabled (family plan paid for by grandparents). Kinda sucks, but it makes and receives calls and right now is more than enough.
what is your favorite animal at the zoo? hate zoos on general principle, but wolves. ostriches also amuse me.
where was the destination of your first trip on an airplane? I was 25, and it was Manchester, England. I'm very thankful for that.
how do you take your coffee and/or tea? i don't drink coffee. tea - iced and green, or English Breakfast/Earl Grey as is.
where do you buy the majority of your clothing? The thrift store. Brand wise, probably American Eagle as it's really comfortable and fits my fatness well.
what is the local convenience store in your area? the Shell station, or Walgreens. Both less than a block from my house.
favorite flavor of ice cream? I have really sensitive teeth so I'm not a big ice cream fan, but I love a banana split every now and then. I also like peppermint ice cream that only comes out at Christmastime.
does your job require you to wear a uniform? wut job? And if I get the one I've been told I will, no, it will not
do you know how to change a tire or the oil of a car? both. I lived with a man who would do neither of these things, so I did them for him. lols
do you wear belts regularly? no. i have a large ass and it tends to keep my pants up.
when was the last time you went to the dentist? technically a year ago, but it was just an emergency one to see about getting my wisdom teeth out. I haven't had insurance for a decade, so...as soon as I do (new job offers it) I'mma have so many freaking things done.
what is your favorite type of cheese? Any cheese is good cheese, but probably goat or brie or gouda if i had to choose.
which illegal drugs have you used? marijuana. about ten times maybe, years ago.
which fictional character, in either literature, stage or screen, is most like you? Bella. I've stayed with assholes far too long. lols
do you use a dishwasher or wash your dishes by hand? by hand. always. soapy hot water is sooooooooo nice.
do you use bar soap or body wash? body wash usually, I have a very keen sense of smell and i tend to sweat a lot. Bar if I'm very poor/not too dirty though.
what brand is your computer? eMachines. It's gonna die before long. lol
last thing you ate? made some simple chicken cordon bleu, it was okay but really not worth the hassle of asking to use my gran's oven to bake it (no working oven/stove in my apartment)
what type of milk do you buy(skim, 2%, etc)? skim, for the rare occasions I have cereal. I find milk itself to be rather gross and I'm mildly lactose intolerant, so I don't buy much.
do you own a bicycle? yes, bought an old one last year. It's in the garage, but there are no real bikes paths or bike lanes in this town unless you're riding alongside the Mississippi, so it's dangerous and rather pointless to ride it anywhere.
have you ever been put in the hospital? Yes. Diabetic stuff, lit myself on fire, after that I got so skinny they put me in for a few days for observation and concluded that I had "unintentional anorexia as a result of injury." Yay. Been several years though, so yay for me.
what is your blood type? O neg. Universal donor.
have you ever been tested for an STD? once a year now. when I was sexually active, once every six months. I've dated several people who slept around a lot, so I'm very lucky that everything has always been negative.
when was the last time you used a lawn mower? last Wednesday
do you know anyone who has committed suicide? yes.
have you ever been in a physical fight? I grew up gay in the Bible Belt. What do you think? :P
do you believe in love? Yes. By my definition it is caring for someone so much that you put their happiness before your own. I believe it exists but will never be directed at me.
are there any jobs you consider "beneath you" and would never do? No, if I am desperate I'd do pretty much anything. Of course I'd prefer never to work fast food or clean toilets but you do what you must
prefer to give or receive oral sex? give give give.
*any particular reason why? well...i'm very sensitive and direct stimulation is hurty. Also, I like making other people feel good.
for what reasons would you ever get divorced? If the person no longer wanted to be married to me. I can't really see myself initiating one.
would you rather burn to death or drown? drown. absolutely. terrified of that but being burned in any capacity is hell. Literal hell.
what is your usual order for pizza? mushroom, pineapple, ham, anything really
do you wear hats on a regular basis? Wish I could, but no. My head is too small and I look ridiculous. The only ones I can really wear are beanies.
money is no object - what are somethings you want in/for your dream house? library, glass walled music room, Steinway grand piano, spiral staircase, intricate woodwork, huge garden, someone to share it with
are you artistic? eh...I'm a poet, and I can sing okay. I love art but am just not a visual artist in any sense.
do "fat bitches need love too"? of course. i don't judge people on weight.
do you have a good relationship with your parents? no. I'm sure I'd be best friends with my mother if she was still alive, though.
do you have a will or living will? Both. Having a chronic disease that can kill you in a moment's notice kinda necessitates it. I have no assets and no money, but my poetry goes to Sweden and anything of any value to my brothers.
have you ever ridden a horse? aye, but it's been probably 20 years or so since then. I'm old.
what color underwear are you wearing right now? beige ish
did you / do you go to college? Yes, and I even have a completely worthless degree to prove that I wasted 8 years of my life doing so!
*what did/do you study? Everything. My degree is in Liberal Arts, so yeah. Focused on journalism, history, English, speech pathology/audiology, and anthropology at different times.
have you ever been to a play or musical with a cast NOT consisting of gradeschool/highschool students (i.e: a professional theater troupe)? yes. I'm not really a theater person for the most part, and am somewhat anti-musical after a life spent with choir members who thought they'd be Broadway's next big thing, but I did see and enjoy a local production of Miss Saigon a year or two ago.
what are the lightest and heaviest weights you've been in your adult life? 195 (D:) now and about 72 after my burns.
what is your favorite breed of dog? I love all dogs, complete dog person. I tend to favor mutts, but as far as breeds go I'm fond of any kind of Shepherd (German Shepherds mainly) and I adore chow chows and labs and Pomeranians and pugs and bulldogs and and and and...
have you ever been in the news, tv or print, for anything? nothing big, won a few spelling bees in my younger days and my name was listed when I graduated uni.
which, if any, charities to you contribute to? none at the moment since I'm unemployed, but I always have contributions for United Way, Shriner's, St. Judes and the ASPCA deducted when I'm working. I also try to contribute to food drives and animal shelters when I can, although it's been years.
what is the size of your mattress? hmmm...small double? Large single? Not sure, it's a pull out sleeper sofa so not a regular mattress. It's bigger than the twin bed I never sleep in, though.
how many different pairs of shoes do you own? hmmm, maybe....5 or 6? a couple pairs of nice/work shoes, a pair of basic black shoes and a few pairs of sneakers.
last movie you saw, either in the theater or on DVD? Inception, with my grandparents. I think I was expecting too much, didn't really blow me away.
what television station do you spend the most time watching? hmmm, I watch all my TV on my computer so I have no idea. Most likely Fox or HBO.
do you use Facebook? yes.
*why do/don't you? why not? I also have Swedes and Scots and Ozzies and Saffas and Californians to keep track of. lol
what are your thoughts on abortion? I've had one. Not by choice, but I still technically have. I feel that the woman should have the choice, but that choice should be limited to issues concerning health of mother and/or child and other extenuating circumstances. Should not be a repeated method of birth control by any means.
how many of your grandparents are still living? all, as far as I am aware. Haven't spoken to my father's parents in years but I'd hope I'd have been contacted if one had passed.
have you ever ridden on public transit (taxi cabs not included)? yes, i don't drive
have you seen both the atlantic and pacific oceans in person (from a plane at 30k ft doesnt count)? sadly, no. Just the Atlantic so far, and I consider myself lucky for that. I'm from a state with 1,000 miles or more of land on all sides.
what kind of mobile phone do you have? a very basic Samsung flip phone that has texting and internet access disabled (family plan paid for by grandparents). Kinda sucks, but it makes and receives calls and right now is more than enough.
what is your favorite animal at the zoo? hate zoos on general principle, but wolves. ostriches also amuse me.
where was the destination of your first trip on an airplane? I was 25, and it was Manchester, England. I'm very thankful for that.
how do you take your coffee and/or tea? i don't drink coffee. tea - iced and green, or English Breakfast/Earl Grey as is.
where do you buy the majority of your clothing? The thrift store. Brand wise, probably American Eagle as it's really comfortable and fits my fatness well.
what is the local convenience store in your area? the Shell station, or Walgreens. Both less than a block from my house.
favorite flavor of ice cream? I have really sensitive teeth so I'm not a big ice cream fan, but I love a banana split every now and then. I also like peppermint ice cream that only comes out at Christmastime.
does your job require you to wear a uniform? wut job? And if I get the one I've been told I will, no, it will not
do you know how to change a tire or the oil of a car? both. I lived with a man who would do neither of these things, so I did them for him. lols
do you wear belts regularly? no. i have a large ass and it tends to keep my pants up.
when was the last time you went to the dentist? technically a year ago, but it was just an emergency one to see about getting my wisdom teeth out. I haven't had insurance for a decade, so...as soon as I do (new job offers it) I'mma have so many freaking things done.
what is your favorite type of cheese? Any cheese is good cheese, but probably goat or brie or gouda if i had to choose.
which illegal drugs have you used? marijuana. about ten times maybe, years ago.
which fictional character, in either literature, stage or screen, is most like you? Bella. I've stayed with assholes far too long. lols
do you use a dishwasher or wash your dishes by hand? by hand. always. soapy hot water is sooooooooo nice.
do you use bar soap or body wash? body wash usually, I have a very keen sense of smell and i tend to sweat a lot. Bar if I'm very poor/not too dirty though.
what brand is your computer? eMachines. It's gonna die before long. lol
last thing you ate? made some simple chicken cordon bleu, it was okay but really not worth the hassle of asking to use my gran's oven to bake it (no working oven/stove in my apartment)
what type of milk do you buy(skim, 2%, etc)? skim, for the rare occasions I have cereal. I find milk itself to be rather gross and I'm mildly lactose intolerant, so I don't buy much.
do you own a bicycle? yes, bought an old one last year. It's in the garage, but there are no real bikes paths or bike lanes in this town unless you're riding alongside the Mississippi, so it's dangerous and rather pointless to ride it anywhere.
have you ever been put in the hospital? Yes. Diabetic stuff, lit myself on fire, after that I got so skinny they put me in for a few days for observation and concluded that I had "unintentional anorexia as a result of injury." Yay. Been several years though, so yay for me.
what is your blood type? O neg. Universal donor.
have you ever been tested for an STD? once a year now. when I was sexually active, once every six months. I've dated several people who slept around a lot, so I'm very lucky that everything has always been negative.
when was the last time you used a lawn mower? last Wednesday
do you know anyone who has committed suicide? yes.
have you ever been in a physical fight? I grew up gay in the Bible Belt. What do you think? :P
do you believe in love? Yes. By my definition it is caring for someone so much that you put their happiness before your own. I believe it exists but will never be directed at me.
are there any jobs you consider "beneath you" and would never do? No, if I am desperate I'd do pretty much anything. Of course I'd prefer never to work fast food or clean toilets but you do what you must
prefer to give or receive oral sex? give give give.
*any particular reason why? well...i'm very sensitive and direct stimulation is hurty. Also, I like making other people feel good.
for what reasons would you ever get divorced? If the person no longer wanted to be married to me. I can't really see myself initiating one.
would you rather burn to death or drown? drown. absolutely. terrified of that but being burned in any capacity is hell. Literal hell.
what is your usual order for pizza? mushroom, pineapple, ham, anything really
do you wear hats on a regular basis? Wish I could, but no. My head is too small and I look ridiculous. The only ones I can really wear are beanies.
money is no object - what are somethings you want in/for your dream house? library, glass walled music room, Steinway grand piano, spiral staircase, intricate woodwork, huge garden, someone to share it with
are you artistic? eh...I'm a poet, and I can sing okay. I love art but am just not a visual artist in any sense.
do "fat bitches need love too"? of course. i don't judge people on weight.
do you have a good relationship with your parents? no. I'm sure I'd be best friends with my mother if she was still alive, though.
do you have a will or living will? Both. Having a chronic disease that can kill you in a moment's notice kinda necessitates it. I have no assets and no money, but my poetry goes to Sweden and anything of any value to my brothers.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Residence Permit: Application sent
While it wasn't really difficult, I have to admit it was a bit tedious getting all the required forms and information ready to send to the Consulate General of Sweden in New York. Luckily my girlfriend said I could use her as my contact address in Sweden, which was a big relief. I'm not entirely sure whether or not a Swedish address was required, but there was a space for it and I felt better being able to fill it in. I also had to enclose proof of funds for my living expenses for the whole of my study period. I'd read on Lund's website that Stafford loans were permissible for this, since they're exactly like the loans Swedish students receive and both are dependent on adequate study progress for renewal. (Basically, if you flunk out, they stop paying...makes sense). So, I simply enclosed a printout from the Sallie Mae website, detailing the loan amounts and disbursement dates. I also had to write a letter detailing the dates I expect to leave Sweden and when I expect to arrive, as well as a bunch of other stuff. I finally got it all ready to go and paid the $120 application fee at the post office in the form of a money order. It's on its way via Priority Mail and should arrive at the Embassy sometime this week.
I'm excited, but it's a little frustrating to have to wait two to three months to hear anything. I'm just hoping that the letter I enclosed allows me to enter the country. My master's program is internet based distance learning, so I told them that the GIS Centre at the university itself will be a valuable learning tool for me, and I'd like to be able to have face to face interaction with my teachers if need be. I have no idea if they'll let me in for those reasons but I'm certainly hoping so. I would think that being admitted as a full time student at Lund University would allow me to reside there, no matter the method of instruction. I guess we'll see.
I'm excited, but it's a little frustrating to have to wait two to three months to hear anything. I'm just hoping that the letter I enclosed allows me to enter the country. My master's program is internet based distance learning, so I told them that the GIS Centre at the university itself will be a valuable learning tool for me, and I'd like to be able to have face to face interaction with my teachers if need be. I have no idea if they'll let me in for those reasons but I'm certainly hoping so. I would think that being admitted as a full time student at Lund University would allow me to reside there, no matter the method of instruction. I guess we'll see.
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